Friday, January 13, 2012

Left Behind, the Movie, Part 9

When the last clip ended on Slacktivist, I found that I was really getting into the story. I spent the intervening week anxiously waiting the next installment, wondering what Buck would do when he learned about the prophecies. The movie did not disappoint. The next segment is my favorite. By favorite, of course, I mean the one that calls for the most trashing. Fred Clark often remarks that the movie, although bad, is nonetheless better than the book. However, the book never rises to the heights of lunacy that we see in this particular segment.*

It appears that Buck's collapse was more from exhaustion than the severity of his wounds, because we next see him in an office at the church, looking much recovered and getting his leg bandaged. Rayford, Chloe and the pastor face him, almost confrontationally, about the disappearances. The show him the videotape of the pastor, assuring his viewers that the disappeared are in Heaven, according to First Thessalonians, "The Lord himself shall descend from Heaven with a shout, with the voice of the Archangel and the trumpet of God. The dead in Christ shall rise first. Then, we who are alive and remain shall be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so shall be ever be with the Lord." (This is the usual passage cited as predicting the Rapture).

Buck is skeptical. He says the scriptures are so vague they could mean just about anything. Then Barnes drops his bombshell. Pastor Billings disappeared with the others. The video comes from three years before the disappearances. Buck is stunned. Bruce says the Bible foretells everything, including the picture on Buck's laptop that appears to be open, showing the attack on Israel. That is Ezekiel, Chapter 38. Buck realizes that the mysterious codes on each picture are actually Bible verses.

Pause for a moment to unpack that. THE ANTI-CHRIST'S PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION ARE LABELED WITH WHAT BIBLICAL PROPHECIES THEY FULFILL?!?!?!?!?!
Head explode. This makes absolutely no sense whatever! Think about how those Biblical verses came to label the three pictures of the plot. I can think of three explanations, two of which are so insane they lead to head explosions.

(1) Stonagal labeled them. They are, after all, downloads from his computer. This makes no sense whatever. First of all, Part 3 makes abundantly clear that the attack on Israel was not part of his plan to control the world's food supply. In fact, it seriously disrupted the plan. So what is it doing in his computer? Come to think of it, what is the attack on Israel doing in the movie at all? Seriously, if the movie had omitted the attack altogether and simply had Buck reporting on the magic formula, the plot would have unfolded in exactly the same way. The attack has no further part in the story whatever. Its only role appears to be (a) to have some really cool explosions, and (b) to be one of the items on the PMD checklist. Second, Stonagal is clearly a very secular guy who has presumably never read the Bible and certainly doesn't know he is in a Biblical prophecy. The proof of this (as if we needed any) is that when the Rapture occurs, he has no idea what it meant and is astonished that his distribution networks are unaffacted.

(2) Carpathia labeled them. As the Anti-Christ, he presumably does know that he is living a Biblical prophecy. Um, we'll skip over any questions about the attack on Israel, except to say there is no more evidence Carpathia is involved than that Stonagal is involved. The next question is why he would put his plans in Stonagal's computer. Won't that lead to trouble when Stonagal finds out about them? But then again, maybe he figures that being the Anti-Christ, he can deal with little complications like that. But that only raises the bigger question. WHY IS THE ANTI-CHRIST DELIBERATELY FOLLOWING THE PROPEHCIES OF THE BIBLE?!? Hasn't he peeked ahead to then end?!? Doesn't he know how those prophecies turn out for him?!? Maybe we should add this to the list of things I would do as an evil overlord. I will never base my plans for world domination on any set of prophecies that culminates in my defeat. In short, this is more plausible than Stonagal labeling his plans with Bible verses, but a whole lot crazier.

(3) Dirk Burton labeled them. This one could at least potentially make sense. Of course, it would require Dirk to be an RTC. That could explain a lot. Dirk would see these plans in Stonagal's computer and realize he was dealing with the anti-Christ. He uploaded them, adding the Biblical prophecies they fulfilled. No wonder he was so frightened when he met Buck! Done right, it would make the whole thing make a lot more sense. You would have to add a few lines to signal to the audience that Dirk is one of them. He could give just a few garbles PMD prophecies, talk about "the ten kings" and "just like Daniel said." That should alert the audience, but sound like incoherent ramblings to Buck. Then he would warn Buck that people are going to start disappearing. Buck would naturally ask if that means Stonagal will be "disappearing" people. Dirk says no, they will vanish into thin air, leaving their clothes behind. Naturally Buck would take this to mean that he was completely nuts. But it would add a creepy air when his seat mate is gone, presumably to the restroom, but his clothes are still there. Now that would be alarming. It would also explain why Buck was so desperate to talk to Dirk after the vanishings, and why he would link Dirk's rants to what happened. It would make perfect sense if Dirk had foretold all that. And for those of us who are slow on the uptake, they could throw in a line or two to indicate that Dirk must have labeled the pictures. So this explanation could actually work. It has two shortcomings. First, there is nothing in the movie to indicate that Dirk is an RTC. He never says anything RTC. Presumably he was killed before the Rapture, but it is my understanding that dead bodies are raptured as well. Second, it would suggest that RTC's are crazy, or at least may reasonably seem crazy to outsiders. So much for that theory.

But I digress. The attack on Israel is foretold in Ezekiel 38. The ten useless tracts of land** will soon belong to Stonagal, as foretold in Daniel. The plans for the Jewish Temple fulfill Second Thessalonians, predicting that the Antichrist will sit in the temple of God and proclaim that he is God. Buck says whoever this Anti-Christ fellow is, he can't possibly rebuild Solomon's temple because the Dome of the Rock is there, and it will lead to all-out war. But Bruce is emphatic. The Bible says so. Logic and reason are besides the point.*** The Jews and Arabls will make peace. It says so in the Bible. "And he will confirm a covenant with the many for seven years." The exact words of the mysterious prophet right after the planes crashed in Israel! Eerie music. Buck is shaken to the core, the way people are when their world view is challenged.

And like most people whose world views are challenged, he resists. Buck says they can't just sit by and let it happen. He has to get to the U.N. and warn Chaim. The others warn him not to go, to put his faith in God, but he head out. Outside of the office, the church sanctuary is being used as a medical ward. Fred Clark is baffled. Wasn't the church empty right after the Rapture? I don't see that as a serious flaw. It simply means that Rev. Bruce Barnes needed some time after the Rapture to pull himself together. Once he did, he set up an emergency first aid station for the numerous people injured in all the accidents that had been taking place.

There is another major piece of lunacy ahead in the same segment, so I had better continue in the next post.

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*On the other hand, Fred never even mentions these bits of lunacy in his review, so maybe there is some lunacy in the book that he overlooks as well.
**Some viewers looked at the tracts and found them to be a mixed bag. They cover much of the Sahara Desert, which looks pretty worthless for farming. Ditto much of the Himalayas, and the Australian outback. The same can be said for much of the U.S. Southwest and northern Mexico that are included, but the land appears to extend into our bread basket in the Midwest. They also include the Argentine pampa, another great bread basket.
*** And now the segment runs out and we begin
Part 6.

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