If Donald Trump's Train Broke Down

 In 1984 there was a joke told by people who didn't like Ronald Reagan.

Ronald Reagan Walter Mondale, Gary Hart, and Jesse Jackson were on a train headed to the debate when it broke down.

Jackson said, "It's a white man's plot to keep a brother from having a chance to be President."

Mondale said, "This is the last time I take a train made with non-union labor."

Hart said, "Trains are outdated.  We need new ideas in transportation."

And Reagan said, "Can't we just close the curtains and pretend we're still going?"

I am told that there was a similar joke in the Soviet Union.  Stalin, Krushchev and Brezhnev* were on a train when it broke down.  Stalin demanded that they shoot the conductor and send the crew to Siberia.  Krushchev thought that excessive, and believed that firing the conductor and denying the crew their bonuses would be sufficient.  And Brezhnev said -- well, you know the punchline.  It is a fair description of how Brezhnev ran things.

I am now fully convinced that if Donald Trump were on the train he would not say, "Can't we just close the curtains and pretend we're still going."  He would close the curtains and announce that we were still going.  You won't believe how fast we're going!  In fact, we are going going like you've never seen before!  For all I know, he might eventually open the door and announce we were at our destination.

And his followers would probably believe him.

*This is not a complete anachronism.  Krushchev was an important official under Stalin, eventually rising to the Politburo, while Brezhnev was a minor functionary.